10 Tips For Handling Conflict

10 Tips For Handling Conflict
At some time in our lives most of us encounter situations
where we become involved in conflict with others. It may be
a simple difference of opinion, a feeling that you have
been treated disrespectfully, a challenge to your beliefs
or authority, or a whole host of other potential
grievances. And how you handle it is critical to your
feelings, emotions, and relationships.

Handling conflict is a huge topic that you should explore
further but here are ten tips that will help you if you are
faced with it yourself:

#1 Always Be Honest

Be sure to be yourself and don't do or say things because
you think that's what is expected. Be yourself and trust
yourself. Talking truthfully about how you feel about a
situation and how it is affecting you will help towards a
speedy resolution.

#2 Stay Calm and Rational

Avoid letting emotions take over and speak in a calm,
rational way. That will earn you far more respect than by
shouting and raging. It's often said that when you feel
anger coming on you should take a deep breath and count to
ten, so always take time to think about what you say.

#3 Talk in the First Person

Always use statements beginning with "I" to let the other
person know how you feel, how you react, and how you are
affected by the conflict. It is important that you talk
from your point of view and never assume you know what the
other person is thinking.

#4 Be Assertive, But Not Aggressive

Ensure you can take charge of the situation but without
resorting to aggressive behavior or threats.

#5 Show Respect

It is vital that you retain respect for both yourself and
the other person involved. Trading insults will only make
the matter worse. If you find that disrespect is creeping
in on either side bring the matter to a halt as soon as
possible and agree to resolve it when you have both had
time to calm down.

#6 Avoid Issuing Blame

You must keep an open discussion going without attaching
blame. It will ensure that both parties understand how they
are affected by the conflict without unnecessarily becoming
defensive about their own position.

#7 Forgive

Sometimes it's hard to do but the quality of forgiveness
should never be forgotten. If you approach life with
forgiveness in your heart then all conflict can be overcome.

#8 Apologize or Admit You Were Wrong

It can take courage and conviction to admit you were wrong
or made a mistake but it is essential to avoid a stalemate
developing in the conflict. Apologize for any wrong on your
part and you will encourage the same show of remorse from
the other party.

#9 Be Willing to Compromise

Clinging stubbornly to your position is to be avoided. To
resolve conflict it is essential that each party feels they
have gained something - there should not be a winner and a
loser. So compromise is a necessity.

#10 Forget

Once you have found a solution you must be prepared to let
go and move on. It should not be something that can be
dragged up in the future. A good exercise is to write down
how the conflict has been resolved. Then forget it!

Taking on board these tips will ensure you always have a
positive approach to handling difficult situations and that
you will be better prepared to achieve the right
resolution. You should always try to avoid conflict but if
you have a plan to deal with it then it will be quickly and
far more easily resolved.

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This article was written by Tony Hall who runs his own
business dedicated to helping individuals develop their
personal and business skills. You can learn more about how
to develop your own life skills and get your complimentary
copy of "The Process of Success" by signing up for his
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http://www.selfimprovementskills.com/newsletter.html