Being Happy

Some people seem happy all the time. Why is that? We may
think they have fewer problems, an easier life, more help
from others, or other advantages; but that?s not it. What
sets happy people apart from unhappy people is that happy
people have discovered a great secret of life. And the
strange thing is that we all know this secret--or rather,
we?ve all heard it. Happy people accept and incorporate this
secret, while the rest of us pooh-pooh it as too simple to
be the secret leading to happiness.

The secret is this--to be happy we must choose to be happy.
That?s it! Just like picking out our favorite brand of
peanut butter at the grocery store, to be happy we must
simply choose happy from the other states of being available
to us.

But how can you be happy when your job is in jeopardy or
you?ve lost your job? How can you be happy when your health
is poor, your spouse is angry, and your children think
you?re an idiot? Why is it we refuse to accept that
happiness is a choice we may make at any time? The deadly
illusion of need and its accompanying emotion of fear keep
getting in our way.

Now, I?m not referring to a want or desire when I use the
term need here. I?m referring to need as in must-have-in-
order-to-be. Such as, I must have a six figure income to be
successful. Or, I must have status symbols (home, car,
trophy spouse) to be happy. Or, I must have a million
dollars to be secure. When we predicate our desire for
happiness upon circumstances external to us, we just about
guarantee that happiness either will evade us altogether or
will only grant us fleeting glimpses.

Of course, when we buy into the need to have something (like
money) in order to be something (like happy), we invite
need?s partner, FEAR, into our lives big time. For when we
believe we need something we then either fear we won?t get
it, or once we achieve it we fear we?ll lose it.

We need nothing! Everything our souls desire is right here
for us. Look within at what gives you real happiness. When
you recognize that love brings true happiness, and that to
love (including self-love) is also just a choice to make,
then you realize that you need nothing else--you have
everything your soul desires.

Now, sometimes when I talk about this people will take an
extreme situation, saying something like, "How can I choose
to be happy when I?ve just suffered the loss of a loved one
or a crushing blow to my self esteem?" Well, in those
situations it would be foolish to try to choose happiness.
By all means, choose to grieve or anger, but not for long.
Grieve and anger for the natural benefits those states bring
based on the situation, then, as quickly as possible, choose
to be happy again. Why? If happiness is your desired state,
then choose it as often as you really desire it. But maybe
it?s not really your desired state. Maybe, at some level,
you?re deciding to be sad, angry, anxious, or morose. What
do you choose?

About the Author

About the author

Copywrite 2003, all rights reserved. Jerry Lopper is an
author, personal coach, and consultant. His workshops,
ebooks, articles, and coaching are available through
http://www.yourcoachtosuccess.com where you can sign up for
complimentary articles and coaching. For a complimentary
coaching session email to compcoach@yourcoachtosuccess.com.