Dating..A Parents Worst Fear? It Doesn't Have To Be!

I am writing this brief article to parents who have or will have teenage girls. I want to share this because if necessary precautions are taken you will save a lot of pain, heartache, and tears!

At the age of 16 my daughter became ill, headache, throwing up, nausea and tired. Yes all the symptoms of pregnancy, as I know the symptoms well as I have brought four girls into this world.

My daughter’s first response when I asked her if she had been having sex and thought maybe she was pregnant was “No, Mom.” Okay, so I thought possibly I was jumping the gun and she had the flu, but being a mom I knew deep inside something did not feel right and after another week, she continued to be sick. One more time I asked her, “Do you think your pregnant, have you been having sex?” and this time she was quiet and said, “Yes, Mom.”

Okay, as you can imagine most parents may have flipped out, gone over the edge, hollered and screamed, but for some reason at that point and time, God had given me a sense of calmness, I was so calm I scared myself. We talked about when, who, and did she use protection. Yes she said he used protection. I told her we would go and get a pregnancy test just to double check because although I was calm on the outside, my insides were screaming, “Please God, don’t let her be pregnant!”

My daughter left the room and I shut my bedroom door and at that time I uncontrollably broke down crying and I could not tell you when I stopped. I felt anger, hurt, resentment, guilt and the emotions were endless. I felt so sad for my daughter and angry at the same time because I knew by her having a baby this early it would “ruin” her life.

Now the reason I must explain my rollercoaster emotions and as my husband had told me several years ago to get our daughters on birth control, I didn’t listen, and the reason why is because as a mother I felt I would be condoning sexual relations at such a young age and everything I was taught growing up as a pastors daughter did not agree with giving my daughters birth control. So needless to say, I did not listen to my husband, but thought because I had such an open relationship with my daughter and we had been talking about sex since she was 13 years old that she would never have sex…I was very, very wrong!

So I stress to every parent that has teenage daughters that are dating or even if their not dating on a regular basis to continue your open communication with them but PROTECT them by allowing them to be on birth control, for their own safety against pregnancy and disease. It is not about us saying we don’t care that you have sex but it’s about saying that we care and love you and don’t want to see you hurt because even if your child isn’t ready or they think their not, “things” happen, the moon could be right some night, the music, atmosphere and before you know it…it’s too late! So please, take extra precautions with your teenage daughters and avoid the pain and heartache that our family has had to endure and the decisions we have had to make!

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