How To Develop True Self Worth and Really Win

How To Develop True Self Worth and Really Win
In order to feel good about themselves, most compare
themselves to others, compete and try to win in all areas
of their life. They do not realize, however, that this
often can be an expression of aggression towards others,
and ultimately also towards themselves.

When we want to be better than others, we are also driven
to make sure they remain beneath us. We do what we can to
keep them in their place,and look for their failings and
weaknesses. We may also take pleasure in their hardships
and losses. When famous people fall from their pedestal and
suffer, many feel relief that they are not so much better
after all.

How We Compare Ourselves To Others

Some are not able to relate at all to others who they feel
are "better than them.They fill their worlds with those who
they feel are inferior, (and treat them that way, to keep
them in their place.) Some are drawn to those who they
think are better than them, and spend a lot of time trying
to tear the person down. Others become members of sports
team and take great relish in beating the others, proving
that they are "best".

Living this way, one becomes unable to see the beauty and
gifts which each person has and which they could otherwise
share with you. This keeps you on edge, looking for ways
you can maintain your superiority. Relationships become
power struggles. There is little fulfillment, or true sense
of self worth.

Pride Vs. Self Worth

Pride creates a grandiose, false sense of self and causes
the person to close themselves off to many situations,
possibilities, insights and relationships. Pride also
causes them to be out of touch with true self worth, who
they truly are, what really brings happiness.

A true sense of self worth, on the other hand, provides
enjoyment when dealing with all kinds of individuals. With
true self worth you do not need to compare yourself to
others, tear them apart or feel superior. Instead, you are
able to value who they are and share you both of your
gifts. As Emerson wisely said, a rose in the garden does
not compare itself with another. It just blooms as it is
intended to.

Exercise

Step 1: Recognizing The Many Faces Of Pride Make a list
of those you feel better than. Who are they? Why are you
better than them? A)Make a list of those you feel are
better than you. Who are they? How does this make you feel?
How do you behave with them? This exercise will surprise
you. Be honest with yourself. You may also be astonished to
see how many people you've written out of your life.

Step 2: Stop Comparing

A) Pick someone on your list that you feel better than.
Write down all their positive qualities. Now, stop
comparing yourself to this person. Let them be who they
are. Let you be who you are, as well. Enjoy the differences
between you.
B) Do the same with someone you think is better than you.
Can you allow both of you to have positive qualities though
they may be different? Can you stop comparing in this case
as well?

Step 3: A New Meeting

A) Contact the person you feel better than and go out with
them to lunch. Make the meeting all about them. Don't talk
much. Really find out about them. Give them a chance to be
the star. Do the same with someone who feels they are
better than you. You'll be amazed to discover how much
others crave being heard and known, how shaky they are
about who they are. As you do this you'll see that you
don't have to tear others down to feel good about yourself.

Step 4: Each One Is The Best One

As soon as you notice yourself feeling better than another,
let it go and let them be the star. Realize that both of
you can be wonderful. As soon as you notice that you feel
someone else is better than you, do the same. Look for
their good qualities and yours as well. Find out more about
them. Talk to them about themselves and really listen. Let
the true person they are emerge. Don't buy into a fantasy.
It won't do you any good.

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Learn to resolve conflict easily and build supportive
relationships in award winning The Anger Diet, (30 Days to
Stress Free Living)http://www.theangerdiet.com . Top
psychologist,Founder of Everyone Wins Mediation, has helped
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