Micromanaging, Delegating and Letting Go

Micromanaging, Delegating and Letting Go
Feeling a sense of control is important to your health,
self esteem and well being. It helps us feel strong,
empowered and in charge of our lives and the way it’s
unfolding. While a sense of control is beneficial, too much
control often leaves us micromanaging everything and
everyone in our path. Are you micromanaging? Do you need to
oversee everything and make sure it’s all done your
way? Is it unsettling for you when things aren’t done
to your exact specifications? Besides taking on an enormous
amount of extra stress, you’re probably making things
more difficult for everyone in your path. If this sounds
like you, it’s time to stop micromanaging, learn to
delegate and let it go. First of all, consider it from your
children’s perspective.

Let’s say you ask them to make their bed. The cover
may be pulled up but it’s not tucked in with military
precision by any means. You’ve asked them to handle
the bed making task, it doesn’t meet your approval so
you decide to remake their bed. What message are your
children receiving while you’re satisfying your need
for a perfect house? They’re probably feeling like
their efforts aren’t good enough which discourages
them from trying harder while diminishing their self
esteem. Here’s another example.

You’ve asked your husband or partner to go food
shopping in an effort to share the workload. So far, this
is a great plan. He comes home with every concoction of
sugary, fatty junk food that can be found on the
supermarket shelves. What do you do? Maybe you decide that
he simply can’t get it right so it’s yet
another job you’ll have to do. Who are you punishing
here? Yes you’ll bring home some healthier options,
but how about providing him with a specific list and hoping
for the best? Your first option only leaves you with more
work, frustration and unhappiness while he’s off the
hook and wishing you could simply ask for what you want.

This next example is something way too many moms can relate
to. What happens when your child comes home with a
complicated project that’s due in a few days? Is it
really their project, or has it become yours? Of course you
want your child’s project to be completed, nicely
done and timely but many moms feel that if their
child’s work will be seen in or outside the
classroom, it needs their decorating touch. There are a few
things going on here.

The first thing worth mentioning is how does your
“involvement” affect your child? Sure the
project may look award winning by the time you’re
through but consider the long term consequences. Your child
will be doing hundreds of projects during their school
career. As they grow, the time involved, difficulty and
requirements will only increase. If they’ve never had
an opportunity to take full responsibility for their work,
their effort and their time, how will it affect them later
on? Picture your child in college. If he or she never had
to take responsibility for their own assignments during
school because you were always on hand to help, think about
how this abrupt change of events will affect him or her
now. Chances are, it will be a rude and uncomfortable
awakening, leaving your child frustrated, overwhelmed and
anxious.

Next, take a look at how it affects you. First of all, if
you have more than one child, multiply the extra project
time by how many children you have. If you have a few
children, you’ve just given yourself a part time job!

The trick with ending micromanaging is to delegate the task
and then let it go! Sure it may not be perfect or exactly
the way you want it. But try to ask yourself this very
deep, spiritual and philosophical question which can only
be answered after careful though and consideration. Ready,
the question is…..who cares? Chances are, no one
cares but you. So for your health, well being and sanity,
stop micromanaging; learn to delegate then let it go. Not
only will you be happier, but so will everyone else.

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Debi Silber, MS, RD, WHC is a Registered Dietitian,
Certified Personal Trainer, Whole Health Coach, Lifestyle
Expert just for moms and the President of Lifestyle
Fitness, Inc. For nearly 20 years, Debi has been working
exclusively with moms, inspiring and empowering them to
become physically fit and emotionally strong through
gradual, lifestyle changes. For more information on the
Lifestyle Fitness Program, please visit
http://www.lifestylefitnessinc.com