Pack the Car, Three Suitcases, Snacks, One Teenager, and a Fabulous Attitude

Traveling with teenagers can be a positive adventure.
Despite popular opinion, traveling with a teenager can be a
rewarding period of time filled with a lot of laughter and
engaging, enlightening conversation. Travel with a teenager
does not have to mean long periods of silence punctuated by
the echo of the headphones slowly making your teenager
hearing impaired. However, the expectation and accompanying
attitude that you pack is most likely what your teenager
will deliver in return.

We tend to believe that teenagers are highly self absorbed
individuals that are pulling away from their families as
fast as humanly possible because the one thing that they
absolutely can not wait for is to turn into a full fledged
grown up with full fledged rights (and responsibilities).
This is only partly true. Travel with an adolescent is not
only time for you to pull out of your everyday
expectations, responsibilities, and endeavors, but it is
also a chance for them to pull away from theirs as well.
Growing up is not easy, and a little break from the life
they are experiencing can be rewarding for both of you.

Do not Push, Stay Calm, Curb Forced Humor

Do not try to be funny. Yes, every teenager relates well to
a little sarcastic humor, but do not try to be their friend
and crack yourself up with some low down jumble—speak
that you believe your adolescent will appreciate. Be
yourself. Be a parent. Let them slowly open up during the
course of the trip. If you are ramming your good time down
their throat then chances are that you will be spending
your good time alone or watching them try rather diligently
to spoil it. If you relax and just bring up interesting
points along the way, whether it is about the trip or life
in general, and really listen to their responses during
that four second break in between CD tracks, you will
create solid ground from which to move forward as the trip
does.

Teenagers know that parents tend to believe that they are
generally irresponsible individuals. They know that you are
praying that they are not having sex, doing drugs,
drinking, or downloading horrifying material off the
internet while simultaneously suspecting that they are when
your back is turned. If you have not broken through the
sound barrier for awhile, expect your teen to push a few
buttons and rattle your chains. The more you take their
behavior in stride the less they will push and the greater
the chance for a real connection to occur.

Understand Music is Essential

For any teenager traveling with one or two parents in a car
for any period of time there is an absolute need for them
to zone off into their world and crank their music just a
little louder than you want it. A great number of teenagers
actually process life factors and experiences this way, and
allowing them a little freedom in this department can help
keep the waters smooth for connecting when the track is
over.

Ask, Tell, and Listen

Ask your teenage real life questions. If you value their
opinion, genuinely, you and your kid can have some pretty
unique and in depth conversations that lead to a better
understanding and more committed method of communication.
Keep your responses tempered with the notion that you do
not have to agree with them in order to love them, they
have a right to their own thought processes, and if you
really listen they will speak openly. You and your teenager
are going to be trapped together for the duration of your
trip. You can either bring along a great attitude and
connect with each other or you can forget your great
attitude at home and pretend that there is not a boat load
of stress and tension marring your trip. When trapped with
an adolescent, parental attitude is the key to success.

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