What? Me Worry? One of the most enjoyable of life's journeys can be planning a wedding. It might also be one of the most stressful. Stress can be managed, though. If you understand that you may be experiencing pressure from all directions, you will be able to identify it and deal with it. This is more readily done if you know how to cope with some of the eventual problems ahead of time. Plan on money issues, family and friends unintentionally adding stress, and the simple fact that you will be allocating most of your free time to the process. If you can see the first stages of being sucked into the vortex of one of those problems, you can escape more easily than if you wait until it overwhelms you.
Coping with Stress You Cannot Avoid
First off…you must eat right and exercise. Yes, you will need to budget your time so you can take care of yourself. It is proven that proper diet and exercise are the leading methods of dealing with stress. Jogging or walking is great. In fact, walk with a friend who can help you with your wedding plans as you exercise and you'll be killing two birds with one stone. Try to exercise at least 30 minutes 4-5 times a week.
Diet
What can I say? You know what a proper diet is. If not, run to the library and get a book on nutrition. Do not confuse proper diet to control stress with eating due to stress. That is a pitfall that will keep you heading back to have your wedding dress let out as the day draws near. Diet and exercise will not only allow you to handle the demands of planning the wedding, you will sleep better and might even need less sleep, which gives you a few more minutes per day to deal with the plans.
Who Else Can You Talk To?
When the stress starts to creep up on you, you can utilize some other resources at hand. You have probably already contacted your minister or priest about the ceremony, so why not approach him for some counseling? You and your groom need to have some time with him to discuss your concerns. Pre-marital counseling sessions can be something that will help you and your future spouse create a better understanding of what marriage is about. That would be one less thing to stress you out before the wedding day. Another option is a professional counselor to help with your needs. Regardless of whom you speak with, use the time to develop your relationship with your groom instead of arguing and eroding it from the inevitable issues that will arise.
Who Should You NOT Listen To?
Admit it. You know these people. They are the most negative people around, and they can come up with more horror stories about weddings, divorces, break-ups and disasters than a team of writers for a soap opera. Be nice to them, of course, but do not let them drag you down into their personal problems. Surround yourself with friends and people that will be as happy and excited about your wedding as are you.
It Sounds Easy, But…
I had a professional counselor friend of mine explain to me his method of dealing with stress. Obviously he subscribes to all the points I've made so far, but he had one other way he recommended. He explained to me that people need to be able to observe their feelings and actions from a third party perspective. Watch for the signs of stress, such as a short temper and lashing out at friends, or getting entirely frustrated with poor drivers as you are caught in traffic. Someone might even resort to throwing things around the house or kicking the dog. When that third party 'you' sees you doing those kinds of things…simply stop doing them. "Oh, right," you say. "Easier said than done." Absolutely! It takes some practice, but it works. I had a particularly stressful event in my life and I tried his method. Within a day or two of consciously watching myself, I began seeing the signs of stress. When I did, I would think to myself, "Is this worth getting upset over?" Generally the answer was "no." Next I'd take a deep breath or two, and as he said…simply stop being upset. Once you train yourself to do it, it becomes quite easy.
Does Being Organized Really Help?
I will employ an extremely overused phrase to answer that question. "DUH!"
Of course it pays to be organized! Stress comes from unexpected happenings, and if you are unorganized you will attract disasters like a picnic attracts ants. You and your groom need to get a decent organizer/day planner/calendar to set up timetables and dates, and who is responsible for what. It needs to be checked daily, with copious notes to indicate the status for various portions of the wedding plan. One person – probably you – needs to be in charge of the organizer. Don't let it out of your sight. (Oh great. Something else to worry about…losing your planner.) File folders for receipts and paper notes are great, too. However you decide to do it, stick with the system. It is an age of documentation and accountability, so make sure that if someone else needs to get information from your planner or files that they are able to do so. Use logical names for files; don't use cryptic abbreviations or other shortcuts that will prevent someone from finding important information. It will keep you from getting confused when you go back to your planner and wonder who in the world "Mrs. X" is, or what you meant when you jotted down, "Got the little thingy from Sue" means. (I won't tell you how I know about making those kinds of mistakes.)
The Two of You.
There is probably no better way to relieve stress than to be with your future hubby. Plan on spending time together with the restriction that you will NOT discuss the wedding plans for a while. Go to a movie, have a nice dinner and a glass of wine, go swimming or walking. Just "get out of Dodge" and ignore the responsibilities that have been consuming all your time. When your together time is over, you can get back to the issues at hand, but assigning some free time to your life at this point will give you the release you need.
Plan for the Unexpected.
Murphy's Law does not take a sabbatical for wedding plans. Something is bound to go wrong. Perhaps your uncle gets a bit tipsy at the reception and begins to sing along with the band, or the five-year-old flower girl gets cold feet and refuses to cooperate during the ceremony. If you acknowledge beforehand that it is inevitable, then you can just shrug it off and hope that someone caught it on video so you can send to one of those funny video televisions shows and win $10,000. At the rehearsal dinner you see that the caterer brought meatloaf instead of prime rib. Later on you can chastise him and make arrangement for recompense, but there is no use in having a fit right then. There is nothing you can do about it, so roll with the punches and make a joke about it if you can. Remember, there is probably no disaster that can completely ruin the wedding…unless the groom doesn't show up, but that's a whole different topic for another article.
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Andrew is a freelance writer who is currently working for Fresh Impressions, a supplier of quality Save the Date Wedding Magnets, as well as products for birthdays, birth announcements, reunions, anniversaries, graduations and business needs.
