Men and women often want very different things from dating. For example, you may not be thinking much beyond the fact that you found her attractive and – yikes! – she agreed to go out with you. On the other hand, she may already be sizing you up as a potential long-term relationship and the appetizers haven’t even arrived yet. What is that women want from dating, anyway? 1. Romance. It’s exciting to meet someone new, discover that they like you, too, and go out on a date. Women adore romance, and they love the endorphin rush they get from anticipating a romantic encounter. So feed her need for romance – bring her flowers, or a CD of her favorite band, or take her on a romantic picnic. Be a gentleman and open doors for her, and compliment her freely. A few kind words about her dress or her hair will be go a long way, as will as your hand gently places on the small of her back when entering the restaurant. As hokey as it sounds, even kissing her hand, if done at the right time, will be an impressively romantic gesture and not as goofy as it sounds.
2. Laughter. The way to a woman’s heart is through her funny bone – in surveys, women consistently say that the thing they find most attractive about a man is a good sense of humor. She wants to have a good time on a date, so laugh it up! If you’re going to a movie, pick a good comedy. Or pick a venue for your date that offers plenty of chances for shared laughter, like a county fair, or the zoo, or miniature golf. The things that you laugh about on your dates will become treasured memories down through the years, should you end up in a long-term relationship. If you can be silly together, that’s a great step in the right direction for a love that will last.
3. Imagination. Everybody goes out for dinner and a movie. What do you have to offer that’s different? Take her to a carnival and ride the ferris wheel, or go for a hike in the mountains or horseback riding. Just make sure that you tell her what you have in mind, so she can dress appropriately – if she puts on a nice dress and her best stiletto heels and you take her to a clambake, she’s not going to have a very good time. But if she’s dressed for the occasion and you come up with something special, you’ll impress her with your adventurous, creative personality, and she’ll want to keep dating you to see what else you’ll come up with!
Ask your friends for advice on interesting things you can do on dates, if you can’t think of anything. And check the local listings in your newspaper for events that are happening over the weekend – there are always things like cooking classes and city tours that makes for interesting, exciting alternatives to the same old date nights.
4. Mutual interests. The main thing that anyone wants from a date, either male or female, is companionship. Nothing feels better than finding someone who shares the same interests as you, whether it’s books, movies, arts or a hobby.
Once you find out what the two of you have in common, you can tailor your dates to enjoy your shared interests. Why do the usual dinner date when you can instead enjoy a trip to the museum to see a traveling exhibit of Impressionist paintings, or to a late-night horror movie full of zombies and gore. Spending time together sharing something that you’ve each enjoyed individually creates an additional bond, as with shared laughter, mentioned above. Something that you’ve enjoyed on your own is also enjoyed by this other person – how special is that? Whatever will help the two of you bond, that’s what she wants from dating, so it’s what you should do.
5. A possible future. Face it, women date because they’re looking for a man that they’ll eventually marry. That’s why they care whether you have a job, and a car, and don’t live in your parents’ basement. It’s why they melt when they see you give your nephew a piggy-back ride – they’re imagining what a great dad you’ll be when the two of you have children of your own.
You may not be thinking that far in the future, but she is. And even if she’s decided that you’re in the “fun to date, but never marry” category, don’t think for a minute that she hasn’t spent your dates sizing you up as a potential mate.
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