Hundreds of years ago, inter-caste marriages were a big deal… to some extent, they are till date. For some people, inter-caste marriages are still a taboo. They fail to discern that marriages are beyond such superficial differences. That is why, inter caste marriage in India are still confronted with unique challenges. For some people it becomes difficult to convince their parents and in-laws. There are many couples, find it difficult to adapt themselves to a new environment, culture and rituals. In some societies, inter caste marriages are considered as a religious offence where couples face death threats from their own family members. Every now and then, we come across news talking about incidents related to murder due to inter-caste marriages. Such atrocities raise many questions like: Why is caste imposed on couples who want to get married peacefully? In simple words, what is the big deal?
Despite the various laws imposed by the government against such fanatic practices, not many parents/family members/relatives are able to understand it.
Movies like ‘Ek duje ke liye’ reflect the attitude of parents and societies towards inter-caste marriages in India, where a charming and intelligent south Indian boy wants to get married a typical north Indian beautiful girl. The movie highlights how lovers are separated atrociously because of their religion differences. It begins with a normal boy-meets-girl kind of story and gradually unfolds into a traumatic love story. The lovers have to sacrifice their lives to show the eternity of their love. Though the movie is a work of fiction, there are many young couples who face such atrocities in real. They become a victim of circumstances and there peaceful love life becomes anarchic.
There are many threats faced by individuals who are looking forward to get married to their beloveds. Though our government has tried to come up with many approaches to curb these differences like offering couples payment for marrying into a lower caste, nothing has actually eroded the superficial beliefs of caste differences from the minds of people. To actually curb the ‘casteism’ in marriages, there should be more societies and NGO's to support and encourage inter-caste marriages.
Also, the right education and awareness attribute in bringing a change in the hypocrite mindset of the people and inter-caste marriages are possible only with a change in mindsets. It is important to bring into the minds of people that a successful relationship mainly depends on the ability to maintain an independent thought and be appreciated for it and vice versa. So it is immaterial to say that caste defines the fate of a relationship.
How to live happily ever – after in inter-caste marriages?
At times, the parents are not so fanatic and they gracefully accept their daughter in laws and son in laws. But there are some couples who find it difficult to adjust to the new environment. Just consider a few things and you can live happily ever after:-
Regularly visit your would-be’s home:
You can save yourself from a culture shock by familiarizing yourself with your husband's family. Regularly visit your in-laws to know their religious and traditional customs. During your visits, take initiatives by asking questions on how they celebrate different festivals or observe fasts etc. You will soon realize that there are similar reasons and beliefs at the interior of varying customs. It is just the exterior difference. Quite often, different castes worship different deities, but if you care to understand the philosophy behind the worship, then you will feel more comfortable.
Just be happy and make them happy:
Humor is the best medicine to solve many big problems in life; it can help you solve this one as well. Just spread happiness around and cultivate humor in your life. It should be the most important homework you do before getting married into a family or caste which differs drastically from your own. This way, you will feel a sense of belonging when you find that human traits are the same, despite the difference in pickles, papads or the idol of the deity worshipped.
About Author Sukhpreet Kaur Sawhney writes on behalf of Jeevansathi.com, which is India’s fastest growing matrimonial website, provides online matrimonial classified services. Jeevansathi.com enables users to create a matrimony profile on the website and allow prospective grooms and brides to contact each other. Users can search for profiles through advanced search options on the website. Users can avail free registration and make initial contact with each other through services available on Jeevansathi.com via Chat, SMS, and e-mail.
